Friends #7 and #8: Joy and Omar

I spent a second day in the Bay Area to catch up with some more people.

I met Joy, a childhood friend, and her 2 1/2-year-old daughter, Autumn, at Jimmy Bean’s in Berkeley for breakfast.  Autumn was a trooper because she’d been sick the night before, but had bounced back and played quietly while Joy and I talked.  We both think the last time we saw each other, we were about 8 years old.  She remembers that one year we trick-or-treated together dressed up as 50’s girls with poodle skirts.  Our older brothers had been friends (maybe from Cub Scouts?) and met first, and then we became friends.  But since Joy went to private school and I went to public school, we didn’t see each other after a certain age.  I loved sitting down with adult Joy.  What’s interesting is that I remember Joy as a white-blond, quiet girl.  The best word to describe my impression of her is that she was “fair.”   Timid is too strong a word.  Delicate is too wussy.  But I remember her as fair.  In complexion, she is still fair.  She and I have nearly identical hair color (strawberry blond). But she is definitely not quiet anymore.  She is spunky. She is fiery.  Even a little outspoken at times, but in the best possible way.  I so enjoyed our time together.  We come from the same suburban, midwestern culture, and have ventured from it each in our own way.  It was nice to have someone understand what childhood birthdays were like or the danger and daring of the neighborhood sledding spot: King Kong Hill.  What I will take with me from my time with her, though, is her gracious attitude.  If we would bemoan something from our childhood, she would quickly come back with a response of understanding and compassion, eliminating judgment.  This happened more than once in our conversation, and it’s been a long time since I’ve watched someone strive not to judge others with such quickness and regularity.  It was quite lovely.  And it was fun to watch someone I knew as a young child be a mother to a young child.  She’s awesome at it.

Autumn investigating the knit covering for the street sign.

Awesome mom Joy and daughter Autumn

We had a nice walk through a park, but neglected to find a scenic spot for a picture. Joy's husband commented, "It looks like you guys went to the mechanic together."

I ventured to a different part of Berkeley closer to campus for lunch at Cafe Intermezzo with Omar.  I got there a little early, so was able to enjoy people watching on bustling Telegraph Ave.  And boy, does Berkeley have some good people-watching!  Omar, a freshman clarinet player in marching band when I was a senior, arrived and we sat down to lunch.  Omar is somewhat stuck in my brain as a 14-year-old freshman, but now he’s getting a PhD in theoretical economics at Berkeley.  Omar and I (along with Leslie from the previous day and several other band mates) were a part of the honors kids achievement culture in high school, and we talked about some of the pros and cons of achievement in the presence or absence of passion.  I’ve had the conversation more than once on this trip that many of us wouldn’t be able to get into the schools that we went to anymore.  Such has the level of talent and competition increased.  Another fun conversation topic with Omar was his recent marriage!  Both Omar and his wife are family-centered, moderate Muslims.  They met through family and got engaged and married very quickly.  Some people would look at the situation from the outside and come to conclusions, but sitting across from Omar, he was so settled and confident about it.  So sure and caring when he talked about this wife.  The little 14-year-old had most certainly become a grown man and a caring husband.  And he extended kindness and care to me.  As we were saying goodbye, he offered me any help that I might need, and he meant it.  I had to return early the next morning because I had forgotten to get a picture with him. I told Omar how much it meant to me that he was so kind and generous toward me.  His response: “Well we’re more than just Facebook friends, Ann.”  That we are, Omar.  That we are.

Had to go back the next day to get this shot with Omar in Berkeley.

Friend #6: Christi

I met up with my college friend Christi for dinner in Oakland.  She was actually my first college friend.  The University of Michigan does freshman orientation throughout the summer, but for a few straggling students, a Fall Orientation is held immediately before classes start.  I was one of these Fall Orientation students, as was Christi, as were the good majority of my freshman year friends.  I walked into Rackham Auditorium that early morning, trying to hide the fact that I was looking at a map to figure out how to get there, and chose a seat in the same row as another girl.  This girl started talking to me almost immediately, telling me about her summer and leaving to come to college.  I stuck out my hand and said, “Hi, I’m Ann.”  That girl was Christi, from small-town Buckley, Michigan.  We were pretty tight that first year. I went home with her and stayed with her family for a weekend that spring.  We “adopted” a child together through a child-sponsoring agency. She stayed my friend when I was a judgmental, high-horse know-it-all toward her. And we stayed good friends through college and after college when she went to teach high school in Detroit public schools, when she later went to Ethiopia for a year.

But sometime after she came back from Ethiopia, we lost touch.  Neither of us could remember the last time we saw each other.  So we caught up.  And I tell you, this small town girl has become a mighty world traveler.  And I remember that bright-eyed, vibrant 18-year-old girl who was so determined to be exposed to experiences of the world, and she’s done it.  I had forgotten how much I love to hear her tell stories because she gets so animated and passionate.  I’d forgotten how she would curiously and thoroughly pepper you with questions, sometimes to avoid talking about herself, sometimes because she’s just kind and thoughtful.  She now teaches in the public school system in Oakland.  She CARES.  Like a lot.  And I know she’s good at it.  And she still has every bit of zest and vibrancy of that 18-year-old girl from freshman orientation.

Christi at the BART station. We neglected to get a picture together.

Friends #4 and #5: Cheryl and Leslie

I began Day 2 with a drive from Fresno to Frisco and saw llamas and longhorns in adjacent pens at a farm along the way! I continue to be amazed by the beauty of California, this time over Pacheco Pass near Gilroy.

Reservoir at the top of Pacheco Pass

Pacheco Pass

Had a yummy Vietnamese lunch in South San Francisco with college friend Cheryl. Our time together was too short, but we each offered each other some really valuable insights from our knowledge of each other and our past friendship: she to me about some possible career pursuits and I to her about the fact that she is so wonderfully relational. I hope to get more extended time with her in the not-too distant future.

Enjoying lunch at Ben Tre in South San Francisco

Then to high school friend Leslie in Redwood City, recently put on bed rest for the remainder of her pregnancy with twins. We sat out in her beautiful back yard while her friendly golden retriever explored nearby. Leslie preceded me as drum major of the marching band in high school (we were totally cool back then, believe you me). We talked career, we talked family—both our families had known each other because of our older brothers, we talked life, we talked about the people we kept in touch with. Leslie is a brilliant woman doing brilliant things with human-centered design tool kits (I think that’s what they were called?) at Ideo. In her spare time, she does letter block printing and crochets; her husband built a beautiful shed in the back yard. They actually have crafty hobbies, which so intrigues and inspires me. She is 6 weeks away from giving birth to twins, so when she took off to go to a class for that endeavor, I headed across the bay to Oakland.

Leslie and I enjoyed the afternoon in her beautiful backyard.

Friends #2 and #3: Heidi and Margaret

After lunching in San Lucas, I headed east on Highway 198 through central California.  So beautiful!  I ended up in Lindsay, CA, south of Visalia, to have dinner at the home of the Heredia family.  I met them all at a conference 4 years ago, and I’ve seen Heidi since, but haven’t seen her parents, and I got to meet her sister.  Their hospitality was incredible as they welcomed me, fed me, and filled me in on the goings on of the past 4 years.  All in the midst of Margaret having pacemaker surgery on Thursday!  This family is SO generous and they are an example to me of how to be givers.  We sat on the back porch and laughed as the sun went down as I had a dancing contest with the two-year-old nephew/grandson at the dinner table.  I fed the family’s horse (very different from how I began the day in traffic on the 405 freeway in LA); we watched baby frogs jump all over the lawn.  It was as easy as coming home.  I was exhausted by the time I got there, but left feeling refreshed.  I hope that there are moments that I can be what they were to me to weary souls.

Friend #1: Scott

At my favorite cove on Pacific Coast Highway at the beginning of the trip.

Wouldn’t you know that about 20 minutes into my trip, I had my first mishap.  I drove my side view mirror right into a bendy lane divider on Pacific Coast Highway.  If it had been target practice, I would have aced it with flying colors.  I blame it on the 4 hours of sleep I’d gotten the night before and my eyes still adjusting to my new glasses.  The back of the mirror just snapped, not broke off, so it should be a pretty easy fix.  I literally just started laughing out loud, turned back and tried to find the piece, and when I couldn’t, kept driving.

20 minutes into the trip, this happened.

I had lovely, patchy-cloud drive up Pacific Coast Highway and the 101 in order to find a Facebook friend on the side of the road near San Lucas, California. Interestingly, I began my trip with an anomaly (a vocab quiz for my SAT students).  All of my Facebook friends are people I have met at some point in my life, except for Scott Claassen.  We have a lot of mutual friends through a crazy church community in LA called Thad’s.  He and I are two strangers on somewhat similar, somewhat antithetical journeys.    If you think that I’m adventurous driving around the country, this guy is going around the country on his bicycle, taking what he calls a “carbon sabbath” for a year in order to drastically reduce his carbon footprint.  Check out his website: http://www.carbonsabbath.org (in my blogroll), contribute to his journey, house him if he comes to your town.  I can attest that he is an easy stranger to meet, a gracious recipient, and very hungry! We met on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere to have a simple picnic lunch I brought from home.  We talked about our trips, we got to know each other, and then we explored the bizarre San Lucas cemetery, which was adjacent to our lunch spot.  As the breeze went from gentle to a steady, strong headwind that would greatly impede Scott’s journey, he went on his way to find a spot to camp for the evening, and I headed across the state to Lindsay, CA.

Scott, who is traveling around the country by bicycle: http://carbonsabbath.org.

Time to hit the road—more once I’ve gotten to San Francisco.

Day 1 complete. 3 friends seen.

Wow. What a spectacular day. It began with a mishap and concluded with some construction traffic, but everything in between was truly remarkable. The scenery on the Pacific Coast Highway and the 101 as I drove from LA to Paso Robles in patchy low clouds, the thrill of meeting my first friend on the literal side of the road in the middle of nowhere (beneath the city limit sign of a town of 419 people), more beautiful driving across the state, and a sweet reunion with an entire family who so warmly welcomed me into their home for a delightful dinner. More to elaborate on and pictures to share, but I must get some sleep first. I made it all the way to Fresno tonight. Tomorrow onto South San Francisco for lunch.

In the past week/In the next week

In the past week, I have:

  • Cheered on friends at the San Diego marathon
  • Nursed a really awesome sunburn from above event
  • Gotten a smart phone and wondered how I ever lived without one (still need to enter all my contacts–eesh!)
  • Prepared students for the ACT
  • Gotten new glasses–thanks to Henny at SEE Eyewear at the Beverly Center and the guys at the lab who literally worked a miracle to get my heavy duty prescription ready in a week so I could have them for the trip.
  • Gotten my car all tuned up, washed the outside, straightened the inside (still needs a good vaccuum)
  • Worked my last day at my admin job
  • Signed up for twitter and tweeted my first tweet (connectxcountry)
  • Gotten this blog up and running
  • Made food for friends who just had a baby
  • Held said baby–less than 2 weeks old!–amazing!!!
  • Watched a friend rock it at her first gig in over a year
  • Celebrated a friend’s graduation from grad school
  • Had many a dinner, coffee, and conversation with friends in LA before I leave
  • Found a subletter from Craigslist who went to the elementary school next to mine (she went to Claymont!)
  • Packed and straightened the apartment (still getting there)

In the next week, I will:

  • See family and friends from childhood, high school, college, and beyond
  • Get to Seattle
  • Hopefully stop peeling from the aforementioned sunburn
  • Watch a dream of 3 years become reality right before my very eyes!

Thanks for following along.  I look forward to seeing where we end up.